Thoughts on having a Third Baby

All my life, I wanted to have a big family. I wanted at least 8 children. Actually, 8 daughters.

During Natalie’s first year however, things began to change. I think we were ok with one. It was the hardest and most emotional year of my life. There was a battle in my head. I don’t want her to miss out on the fun of having siblings. I know how fun that is because we are four and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It was so much fun having a brother and two sisters around. But I was also scared because having more children is beyond my (patience and) capacity. It’s just way way way way beyond me. Then after I surpassed the 1st year, my heart started to ache for another child. I felt selfish for not wanting another baby just because it will be hard on my part.

Then last year, I started wishfully thinking we could have another baby. It was October when I was delayed for 2 weeks. I bought some pregnancy tests and it turned out negative. Still, I went to check with my OB. Maybe there was a mistake. I took a blood test and unfortunately it was still negative. I had to hold my tears because I was with my mom. No second baby that time.

The following month though, I was delayed again. I didn’t want to expect anymore because I didn’t want to get hurt once more. But I was too anxious I couldn’t hold my curiosity. I bought some pregnancy tests and this time it turned out positive!!! I had to keep it a secret until I went to my OB. And indeed I was pregnant for with Baby # 2!

Fast forward to when the Little Boy arrived, it was via Emergency CS. I dreaded not giving birth vaginally but we were left with no choice. The recovery period was the hardest. Not being able to move freely, the pain, the breastfeeding hurdles. They were just too much to bear. I can never go thru this again! I swear! This will be the last time. I don’t think I want to be pregnant ever again. I have decided to sell all Natalie’s clothes and all the pink stuff. Because there is not gonna be a 3rd baby for sure, I wanted to let her stuff go.

But now 3 weeks postpartum and almost healed (not exactly back to normal but I feel great already), I am thinking twice whether it’s really going to be the last.

I know it’s pretty crazy. Maybe it’s just hormones. Maybe it’s just the medication. Or maybe I just lack sleep. I don’t know! But whatever God’s will is for our little family, I hope my heart will be ready!

How many kids do you think you can handle? 

Find Success In Areas Of Your Strength

Some people stay frustrated at the workplace they hate. They hate their boss. They hate morning traffic. They hate the office. They hate just about anything. However, some people stay frustrated for a while and find their way out. They find ways to be more positive while creating ways to find success in areas of their strength.

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When Your Husband is Your Business Partner…

Most of you know that my husband isn’t just my lifetime partner, he is also my business partner. Today, I had the privilege of being interviewed by the Wife behind All Mics Up, Mico Sadorra, on her blog and I’d like to share with you a snippet of what we talked about…

HUSBAND WIFE TANDEM BUSINESSES: Life Coach and Drone Service Provider

Why did you choose to do business together?
When we came back from Singapore in 2012, we both didn’t want to go back to the corporate world. Instead, we started a Cupcake Business. It didn’t pull through as successfully as we wish it would be. So my husband came back to work as a Piping Engineer. Our first venture however was followed by 2 more attempts to set up a business until we both figured out what business we really wanted and that is what we do now. Our hope is that we could do business full time so we can have more flexibility in our family schedule.

You can read the rest of the interview here…

When Your Patience is Tested, Remember This Verse

I ended my Quiet Time this morning with a big sigh. I have been reading verses about patience this past 4 days and I guess I had been given at least 3 big tests on the subject up until this moment.

Yesterday in particular, I had a long discussion with an Online Seller where I was supposed to buy some products. Upon checking, I found a better deal from another shop so I said I am cancelling my order. Unfortunately, she has a No Cancel Policy which I wasn’t aware of because it was not stated anywhere on her site. But then again, policies are policies so I just obliged. I told her I will just pay for it anyway and just resell.

However, I felt so irritated when she still didn’t stop sending messages about why I should pay or how irresponsible I was for reserving and cancelling. We have settled it already. I said I’d just pay so why bother keep sending those messages. Our discussion didn’t end until 2 very long messages from each of us stating what she did wrong and what I did wrong. I understood her part so I said I’d pay but I also wanted her to understand her mistake.

I had thought about this incident the whole day yesterday. And today of course, God reminded me again about it with the verse from Proverbs 19:11.

Sensible people control their temper;
   they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Somehow, I felt confident I did control my temper with the way I replied to her. Because I could have done and said something more piercing and more hurtful. I could have ignored her, blocked her on FB, post public rants about her and don’t pay her at all. But I did not. I chose to just settle it by paying her. So that first part, I felt pretty confident I did not lose my cool.

But looking at the last portion…

…they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.

Wait hold it a minute. Overlook wrongs?? Does the Bible really say that? And then that big sigh. I asked Jesus previously, why did what happened yesterday happened? And this was His reply this morning. Because I need to learn to overlook wrong. I knew I had a mistake so I just swallowed the mistake by letting go of my cash. But what I wanted too was for her to know her part of the equation. I wanted her to see her wrong.

In my marriage, this was a big area I needed to improve on. I certainly have the gift of criticism if there is ever one! Contrary to my husband whom I would often hear say, “Hayaan mo na yan.” Honestly, I couldn’t take it. I am always one who would prove my point, have rights and so on. I won’t stop until you understand your wrongdoing. In God’s kingdom you most probably would call my attitude, “pride.”

I still keep giving myself a big sigh as I write this. It looks like this is a verse I need to remember often. There are times I need to back off, give up my rights and just let go. (I understand this is not the case for everything but at least for those things that don’t matter as much, just let it go.)

Do you often overlook wrong or are you more vocal about other people’s mistakes?

How to Respond to Trials

Last weekend, I had the chance to attend a seminar put together by Women of Grace about how to respond to trials. I really wanted to attend the event because let’s face it, we WILL face trials of many kinds like what Jesus said in John 16:33. I did, I do and I know there will be more in the future. And the truth is for a long time, I had stopped responding the right way to the trials in front of me. I had become hopeless and I had stopped fighting. I had allowed the enemy to rob my joy and peace.

A week before this event, I met with one of my closest friends and I told her about how I had been dealing with my problems — not doing anything. And she said the most painful and true statement I ever heard. “You know what you are doing? You are literally handing your life to Satan. Here, take control.” That is what happens when you stop fighting. I had to hold my tears but inside, my heart was bleeding with pain. Because she was right.

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In the seminar, the speaker (who happens to be a person I consider my spiritual mentor) talked about: what trials are, the purpose of trials and how we are to respond to trials.

I wish to share with you all that I had learned but of course that will be too many, so here are just some of my take aways:

  • Trials are necessary because they will prove your genuineness and worthiness. Like doctors, you can’t get that “Dr.” attached to your name until you have endured all the exams a doctor needs to pass and many more!
  • Trials reveal who we really love. Are you for Jesus or not? The way you respond to trials will reveal that. No middle ground. Just pass or fail.
  • Trials allow us to wean from the world. Sometimes, I get so caught up in this temporary world that I forget eternity. What if Jesus takes away everything from me just like Job? Would I still worship God?
  • Have a joyous attitude in response to trials. “Consider it all joy” as the Bible says. This separates you from the world. Everyone will have trials whether they are believers or not. But if you are a true believer, you will respond to trials with thanksgiving and joy.

At the end of the talk, there was a breakout group where we discussed a few questions on how we can relate this to our lives today. I learned as much here as I have in the seminar. And one thing that stuck to my heart is the statement of one of my groupmates when asked what is our next step after hearing the message. She said, “I plan to obey.”

Well Lord…. “I plan to obey, too.”

How do you respond to trials?
Are you going thru trials now?